New Year's Special - 12 Suggestions for WWE in 2012 - Part 1

A very Happy New Year to all you readers! The skeptic may at this point snicker and say "Which readers?", but they can doubt all they want, for my visitor count seems to suggest that my blog is, however inexplicably, being read or at least visited by sentient beings. Of course, the more diligent and annoying skeptic might then ask whether I and these sentient beings have ever been seen together in the same place. Moving on.

We will be having our very first guest blogger shortly - Abhishek Sen, a fellow wrestlemaniac from Shillong will chime in with his thoughts. You can read his blog here at http://scene-unsorted.blogspot.com. This is hopefully the first of many collaborations on The Gorilla Post.

Today's post is about 12 things we would like to see WWE doing in 2012. (Aren't you glad it isn't 1999?). We both came up with our own lists - they were quite different,but had some overlapping points. Eventually we narrowed it down, and we will each write about 6 suggestions (Although wishes may be a more appropriate word).

So here we go, with my half in Red. His will follow shortly in Blue.

BRING BACK JR

Among all the unfathomable decisions that WWE has made over the last couple of years, perhaps one of the most bizarre is replacing Jim Ross with Michael Cole as the voice of the WWE. I understand the need to make prudent decisions with an eye on the future, but benching arguably the greatest play-by-play announcer in the history of wrestling when he's still in fine health and top form is not a prudent decision, and Michael Cole is not much of a future. Some of the greatest wrestling memories of the past are preserved in my head accompanied by the soundtrack of JR's commentary ("Stunner! Bah gawd he's broken in half", "Shawn Michaels is the World Champion.Do you believe in miracles?", "I just had an out of body experience!") while all that the announcers seem to talk about since his departure is what's trending worldwide on Twitter. Enough. Bring him back.

REBUILD THE TAG DIVISION

Tag team wrestling is a legitimately different skill from singles wrestling. It adds an interesting aspect of teamwork to the story of each match, contains ample potential for drama, high spots, chain wrestling and is also a great way for undercard wrestlers to develop their skills and get over with the crowd. The basic dynamic of good vs. evil often takes on more intensity when there are teams involved. For this reason, tag teams often form strong bonds with audiences. WWE has been sadly ignoring this art for around six years, and they do it a great disservice whenever they shove together two wrestlers to forcibly construct a short-term alliance instead of building complementary and synchronized teams. The division seems to have seen some resurgence over the last few months due to decent teams like Air Boom, The Usos and Primo & Epico. This needs to continue in 2012. It would be great if WWE hired some known teams from the independent circuit.

HIRE FEMALE WRESTLERS, NOT MODELS

I get it. WWE loves gorgeous women. Who doesn't? But it makes me cringe every time I see Kelly Kelly bounce awkwardly off the ropes or Alicia Fox throw a punch. Even if WWE were only hiring pretty faces (and I'm not saying they are) I refuse to believe there are no decent looking women in the world who also happen know what to do inside a ring. If you belong to that school of thought, I've got two words for you: Trish Stratus. There is a large enough pool of female wrestlers in the world to at least make an effort. Continue to feature the Kellys and Eves. They are improving and will continue to do so. But give great female performers the chance to showcase their talent in the biggest wrestling company in the world. The young male demographic isn't as fixated on looks as you think. Give us a hell of a match, and we'll thank you for it.

CHANGE THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT

Gather a hundred people who have never seen wrestling before. Give them a brief history of the industry. Tell them about its most prestigious prize - a championship belt that has been handed down with honour over half a century, starting with Buddy Rogers in 1963, all the way to CM Punk in 2011. Now tell them to sketch what they think this holy artifact would look like, based on the description. Then tell them to sketch large shiny objects that they think might be found in Snoop Dogg's attic. Do you see where I'm going with this?

"The current title is old and passe. Its gaudy and ugly. It says "Champ" instead of Champion. That's ridiculous! I need a dignified title, not a blinged out rapper accessory." - CM Punk

"When football players win the Super Bowl or basketball players win the NBA finals, you'll usually see one of the players sporting a championship from WWE. But it's always the World Heavyweight Title. It doesn't take much to figure out why that is." - The Miz

BUILD STORYLINES AROUND CHAMPIONSHIPS

Look at the biggest angles of the last couple of years. The Nexus. John Cena getting "fired". The Rock returning to challenge John Cena. CM Punk leading a 'reality' revoultion. What do they all have in common? They all featured the WWE Championship, but the storylines had nothing to do with the title, relying on great dramatic hooks instead. Lance Storm really made an excellent point last year when he suggested on his blog that falling pay-per-view buys and TV ratings might be due to WWE focusing on storylines rather than angles. The difference? In the old days, wrestlers would be built up individually, and an angle (intersection of the two lines or paths taken by the separate performers) constructed to set up a match between the two. The anticipation would be solely for the match. In the modern WWE, all the intrigue is about whether someone will get fired, leave, come back, betray someone or align with someone else. As a result, the casual fans don't have to watch the show to find out what happens. They can skip the pay-per-view main event and watch RAW instead. They can even forget about RAW and go online. Professional wrestling works best when its about the matches. The championships are a legitimately big deal. They need to be treated with respect again. It's sports entertainment. Sports comes first.

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BOOK CM PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO FOR WRESTLEMANIA

"The Best in the World".

Wrestling is traditionally full of hyperbole and exaggeration. But when CM Punk calls himself the best wrestler in the world, he is telling the truth. By "wrestler" here, what he means is "performer", and no wrestler in the world is a more complete performer than Punk at this point. Or should I say no active wrestler. Because there is one man in recent memory who has performed at just as high a level as Punk is doing right now. Perhaps higher. He even called himself the best in the world two years ago, and at the time he was telling the truth too. That man is Chris Jericho. To those of you who sneer at wrestling and consider its practitioners brainless, I challenge you to look at CM Punk and Chris Jericho and still say the same thing with a straight face. Here are two performers who elevate wrestling to high art - staying in touch with the audience, continuously evolving their looks and characters, incorporating elements from both popular and obscure culture into their personas and always staying fresh, relevant and interesting. These are men who are masters of the microphone and generals of the ring, alchemists who turn everything that they touch into gold. In a landscape populated by athletes, actors and apers, these men are artists. Which is why WWE must do anything in their power to get Chris Jericho to come back, even if it is only to feud with CM Punk for Wrestlemania. Promise him a movie, an unreasonable amount of money or a night with the Bella twins. Whatever it takes. When he left, Jericho said he would come back if the time was right. Well, the time is right . Wrestlemania is being headlined by the two biggest stars of Jericho's and Punk's respective generations. Bring back Chris Jericho, and the artists can show the stars how it's really done.