WrestleMania 31 Fantasy Booking

With the Royal Rumble only a few weeks away, we are officially on the Road to the Road to WrestleMania. One of my favourite activities at this juncture in the wrestling calendar is fantasy booking my own version of the WrestleMania card. This doesn't necessarily reflect the matches that I think WWE will put on in three months, but the direction that I would take if I was in charge of their creative team. So here is how I would book the sports entertainment SuperBowl for 2015:

1. Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

With this newly introduced feature, WWE has found a clever way to give all the talent who don't find a place on the main card a chance to perform on wrestling's grandest stage, and pocket a small portion of wrestling's grandest payday. My winner this year? "It's me, it's me, it's BNB!"
Winner: Bad News Barrett

2. The Ascension vs. The Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust (WWE Tag Team Championships)

I envision the Battle Royal being on the pre-show, so this tag team championship match would be the hot opener to kick off the main WrestleMania card. I would put the titles on The Ascension early, maybe at the Rumble. Build them up as a vicious heel team and then have the fan favourites The Usos win the titles back at Mania. The Dust brothers are also in this match because they've taken a limited gimmick and got a tremendous amount of mileage out of it over the past year, so they deserve more than just a throwaway appearance on the card.
Winner: The Usos

3. Ryback vs. Cesaro

This is about re-establishing Cesaro as a beast - in my scenario, the Swiss Superman snaps when Ryback eliminates him from the Rumble. His rage finally unlocks his potential and he goes on a rampage in the midcard. For several consecutive weeks, he reaches Ryback's scheduled opponents before Ryback does and beats them up so badly that they can't compete. This is an implicit challenge to Ryback, which the Big Guy accepts eventually. The story of the feud is that Ryback takes him lightly at first, finds himself almost overmatched by Cesaro in the Mania match and manages to pull out the win in the end. This would be what JR would describe as a bowling-shoe-ugly brawl, filled with awesome displays of brute force. Both men would come out of the bout looking stronger.
Winner: Ryback

4. Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev (US/IC Title Unification)

Ziggler and Rusev are being booked perfectly at the moment, touch wood. I would have both men retain their respective championships till Mania, setting up a highly anticipated Unification match. Ziggler picks up a classic underdog victory and a WrestleMania moment as he hoists both titles in the air
Winner: Dolph Ziggler

5. Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

This could be set up at Elimination Chamber, say when Orton eliminates Bray with an RKO, and the latter comes back to help eliminate Orton illegally. Orton snaps and goes into full Viper mode for the next month - the twist here will be that Orton chases Wyatt during this rivalry, not the other way around. The angle they can run with is that Bray Wyatt may have finally run up against someone crazier than himself. Dean Ambrose was mad in a similar over-the-top way, but Orton's repressed, lurking lunacy proves too much for Wyatt to handle and the feud could play up the fact that Wyatt fears an opponent for the first time. This way, when Wyatt gets the victory, both performers will have looked strong.
Winner: Bray Wyatt

6. Adrian Neville vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. Hideo Itami vs. Finn Balor vs. Tyler Breeze (NXT Championship Ladder Match)

Issue a "Warning: The Show is Highly Likely to be Stolen" disclaimer before the match, then just let them go out there and do their thing.
Winner: Sami Zayn

7. Divas Championship Invitational

This is the usual free-for-all match incorporating the Divas - maybe make it an elimination so they can get rid of the weaker wrestlers quickly. This unfortunately would be scheduled right after the inevitably scintillating NXT match to allow the crowd to catch their breath for a while. I envision Charlotte pulling out a surprise victory and marking her arrival on the main roster.
Winner: Charlotte

8. Sting vs. Triple H

This seems almost inevitable after the conclusion to Survivor Series. The storyline could say Sting stayed out of WWE for so many years because of the lies, the politics and the backstabbing - attributes personified by no one more obviously than Triple H. He finally returned because as the silent guardian of wrestling, he felt it was his duty to vanquish the man corrupting its soul, etc. etc. Although Triple H should ideally pick up the victory as the younger guy, I don't see any way to have Sting lose in his WWE debut at WrestleMania.
Winner: Sting

9. Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus

As I write this, Roman Reigns is probably still the favourite to win the 2015 Royal Rumble, but I don't think he is ready for a main event match just yet. However, a brawl against a heel Sheamus would be a perfect showcase for his still developing talents. Sheamus gives Reigns a beating like never before but Reigns wins with one devastating spear.
Winner: Roman Reigns


10. Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose (Money in the Bank Briefcase on the line)

This fantastic rivalry deserved better than the cheap blow-off it got at HIAC, and I would give it a fitting conclusion on the grandest stage. Maybe Rollins tries to cash in at the Elimination Chamber, and Ambrose comes out with his characteristic deranged grin to beat the hell out of him with a kendo stick. "I haven't forgotten about you, Seth!" Eventually, Ambrose somehow goads Rollins into putting the MITB briefcase on the line, maybe by promising to leave WWE if Rollins wins. Ambrose finally gets a deserved PPV victory here - they can always find another way to insert Rollins into the title picture.
Winner: Dean Ambrose

11. The Undertaker vs. John Cena

This would truly have been a dream match with the Streak intact, but it can still be done now. If Undertaker is going to have another match, I think Cena is his best potential opponent when you combine star power, potential match quality and a safe working style. The story would be that this is Undertaker's retirement match, and he is handpicking his final opponent. Taker can say there is only man in the current locker room who respects this business as much as he does and is worthy of carrying the torch, etc. etc. Make it an emotional angle along the lines of HBK vs. Flair, where Cena is reluctant to end Taker's career. Maybe Cena has a moment of hesitation while hitting the AA, allowing Taker to reverse into a Tombstone and get the pinfall. Of course both men embrace and are in tears after the match, and Taker gets a legendary send-off the next night.
Winner: The Undertaker

12. Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar (WWE World Heavyweight Championship)

Here it is, the oldest story in wrestling. Long before the pyrotechnics, the costumes and the razzle-dazzle, professional wrestling was about matches like these. Hero vs. villain, bully vs. underdog, David vs. Goliath. Here we have the ultimate David facing the ultimate Goliath. (Daniel vs. Goliath?) For this to work, Lesnar must be again built up as an ungodly brute to the extent possible. Demolish John Cena again at the Rumble. Eliminate all 5 men himself in the Elimination Chamber. Lay beating after beating on a still-recovering Daniel Bryan, who would of course be my Royal Rumble winner. And above all, keep the Creative Team far away from the feud and let Paul Heyman and his microphone work their incomparable magic. This one writes itself.
Winner: Daniel Bryan

So that, in summation, is my WrestleMania card. 12 matches may seem a lot, but over 4.5 hours that's about 22 minutes per match which is more than enough on average. May I please have a job now, Vince?